I GET BY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS

Found this at my door this morning:

Senioritis? What Senioritis?

I may or may not have missed 2 of 5 pop quizzes in my last religion class because basketball, dates, and photoshoots took priority. Now, I have a killer final that I have to do well on or my Wednesday nights this semester were for nothing. So while Summer-Jayme says "wing it!", Responsible-Jayme is panicking a little.

Points for SJ: 7
Late Night Photo Scavenger Hunt (52 pts! 1 pt)
Barrett posting procrastination fodder on my wall (1 pt)
Trolling the used bookstore (1 pt)
Bikinis on the porch for hours (1 pt)
Insanity double dose workout (2 pt)
Buffet with Elly, Mexules, and Enoch (1 pt)

Points for RJ: .5
Looked over flashcards with Elly (1 pt)... while sunbathing (- .5)

Definition of a Date

Between the two of us, Elly and I cover a wide spectrum of the dating world when it comes to the guys who approach us. We picked up on the fact that dating around here could use some improvement. We have plans to fix it, but until that gets off the ground (only a year into the brainstorming process!) I wanted to rant about address some of the issues that I have run into most recently.

Most importantly: some guys seem to be forgetting how to ask a girl out.

Now, if your intention is to be friends with a girl, kudos to you (unless you are one of those "nice guys" who try to backdoor their way into a relationship by becoming a bestest friend forever first and then whining when she only sees you as exactly that). But if you want more than that, cut the crap and ask her out in a way that she will know, without a doubt, that you intend to take her on a date.



Elder Oaks mentioned in a fireside that there were three P's of dating. I'm going to piggyback off him and then add one more of my own.

1. Planned Ahead

Here's the thing guys....

Unless I hear the word "date", I'm probably not going to consider it one. The exception is the implied "date" in the words "I'd like to take you to..."

Know what we are doing! And let me know at least a day in advance via actual conversation (not a text). In a recent informal poll taken at every girl's night ever, it was determined that one of the biggest turnoffs during the first few dates are the words "So what do you want to do/ where do you want to go?"

For one, we like to know what we should wear. I'm a high heels girl and I need to know if we are going somewhere that would require a lot of walking so I can hunt down some flats. More importantly, it shows us that you cared enough to put thought into the evening. A date, especially a first date, shouldn't involve spectacular displays or the pressure for commitment, but it should involve thought.

2. Picked-up

I used to tell myself that I really didn't care if I guy picked me up, especially if we were going somewhere closer to his place than mine. But I soon noticed that the guys who were willing to just meet me there were the ones who were lazy in other areas as well. Now I have a strict no-drive, no-date policy that helps me weed out the lazy ones. If he doesn't think I'm worth the drive, I don't think he's worth the date. Once things are more established between us, I'm happy to spend time behind the wheel to see him.

Show the girl the courtesy of picking her up.

3. Paid For

Touchy subject and one that varies depending on the person. I'm a firm believer that whoever asks, pays. Show the girl that she's more than just a convenient piece of estrogen and follow-through with the date you arranged. Down the road, she'll do the same.

4. Privacy

Can I add a fourth one here? Privacy. I'm not talking about alone-at-the-apartment-in-the-dark privacy. I mean showing the girl the courtesy of being on a date with her and only her. Dating is not a spectator sport and you should not be bringing along a panel of judges friends. I should not feel like a contestant on American Idol when I'm with you. Nothing about our date should bring to mind Ruben Studdard comparisons.

Make me feel like the one on the right and I will turn into the one on the left.

Lately, I've noticed that more and more guys I go out with want to immediately introduce me to their friends. Now, I'm not against getting to know a guy's friends. I've stayed friends with almost every guy I have ever been involved with and one of the best parts was that I also got to stay friends with the people I met through them. I even love meeting their new girlfriend or spouse and seeing what type of girl was right for them. But if every date we went on included their friends in some way, you can be sure that I wouldn't have stuck around long enough to get to know any of them. Let me explain.

Part of beginning to date someone, and a part the I struggle with, is being vulnerable to someone you really have no reason to trust yet. If most of our dates involve your buddies, you aren't going to see the parts of me that I would have shown you otherwise. Whatever feelings I might start to have for you are incentive for me to start opening up to you. I don't have any of those feelings for your friends. They might seem like a safety net to you, a group of people to validate your choice or give you a fall-back in case I turn out to be boring. But to me, they are an audience that I don't necessarily want to preform for. Their presence is going to influence what we talk about, what we don't talk about, and how I act around you.

Essentially, if we are hanging out with your friends, we are hanging out. You are friend-zoning yourself by not putting us in situations (read: taking me on dates) that would promote the kind of intimacy that leads to actual dating.

Do I want to meet your friends? Yes, eventually.

Do I want them to like me? Yes.

But I want you to like me, to get to know me, first.

Fifth Grade Library

I've been trolling D.I., Savers, and garage sales lately for books I can use to stock my fifth grade classroom library. I've collected quite a few that fall under the category of "oldie-but-goodies" (or more likely: "things-Jayme-vaguely-remembers-reading-and-they-only-cost-a-dollar"). Unsurprisingly, the more recent books that are popular with kids haven't been designated to many thrift stores. Likewise, finding firsts in a series can be pretty difficult unless you go online (which I have, much to my wallet's chagrin). I've been soliciting donations/bargains on craigslist, freecycle, and facebook, but I wanted to keep track of the books I want most. Crossed out numbers are books I've managed to find.

Wish-List:

Wayside School Series 1 2 3 4 5
Peter and the Starcatchers Series 1 2 3 4
Percy Jackson Series 1 2 3 4 5
City of Ember Series 1 2 3 4
Animorphs Series 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Winding Circle by Tamora Pierce 1 2 3 4
Ella Enchanted
Among the Hidden
Rules by Cynthia Lord
Holes by Louis Sachar
Frindle by Andrew Clements
Series of Unfortunate Events 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13
The Mysterious Benedict Society 1 2 3
Pendragon series 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Fablehaven series 1 2 3 4 5
Artemis Fowl 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Anything by Roald Dahl
Harry Potter Series 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Number the Stars
Dear America Series
The Giver
Sammy Keyes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
Goosebumps
Anything by Louis Sachar
Chronicles of Narnia 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Student Requested:
The Ranger's Apprentice series
The Mysterious Adventure of Edward Tulane
Miss Fortune
The Boy Next Door
Dragon Rider
The Dear Dumb Diary Series
Bad Kitty Series
Diary of a Wimpy Kid

On Hope

Thursday night.

I'm in crazy-hippie-man's class, being lectured on the divine power of the feminine, Jesus' resurrection, and the Kennedy assassination plot. As per usual, I have my phone out, ready to text Elly with the latest conspiracy theory quotes and Star Trek references. It lights up-- a message from my little sister:

"Mom went to the doctor and they found precancerous cells on her cervix."

She didn't know much more than that. Mom had left her phone at home and didn't respond to my texts. The router at our apartment was broken, so as soon as class ended I went to the lab and started researching. Precancerous cells are considered Stage 0 cancer and, if caught early, can be "cured" 100%. Those with Stage 0 cervical cancer have a 93% five-year survival rate. Of course, if it is someone you love, that pre-cancer is still way, way too much cancer.

I was shaken so I participated in my holy trinity of coping:
1. Pray
2. Read the scriptures
3. Eat In & Out (because nothing says "my mom has cancer" like giving yourself a sympathy heart attack).

I've since talked to my mom and she sounds nonchalant about the whole thing (though that may have to do with her access to a supply of morphine to "make things easier or speed things up"). They found the polyps at her doctor visit (her first one of the kind in 19 years) and sent them to the lab. They aren't sure if it has spread or how far it would have spread so we're playing the waiting game until the labs come back.

I feel like I'm in suspension, like I'm swimming in water and I can see the worry and panic floating above me but they haven't reached me yet. The answer to my prayers thus far has been a calming mantra in my head: "Don't worry until it is yours to worry about."

I have hope. Not in the sense of miraculous healings or things getting better. I just know that now would be a lousy time to stop trusting God. I don't know what His plan is but I know He has one and He'll give me the strength I need to get through whatever He has coming. I wish I had stronger, more unique words to say, some spectacular new lesson I've learned, but I don't. It's the same faith and trust that carried me through everything else that will carry me through this too. Vaclav Havel: "Hope is not that conviction that something will turn out well but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out."

Good reasons not to go to class: Modelling Edition

At some point, someone said something about how you won't remember all the moments in your life. This totally works as an excuse to skive off class to go do a last minute photoshoot for the mother of a guy you barely know.

As I was helping her carry her equipment outside to where we were shooting by the trees, all I could think was "Why did I think I could do this? I have one face and it is smiley-Jayme!" Julie worked her magic in such a sweet, matronly way that eventually I was making angry-amused-face with the worst of them.

Pictures to follow! (Hopefully) Pictures below! All of these are property of Julie Pierce. I'm just in them. :)

What Teachers Make

Out of respect for the school and people involved, I've been keeping blog-fully silent about the events that unfolded in the past month during my practicum. However, I don't feel that I am crossing any lines when I say that I adored all of my 6th graders and I really enjoyed the opportunity I had to work with them. We had a terrific time together, exploring microscopes and fungi and finding creative uses for my empty food boxes. I'm sorry you got your hopes up about the pop tarts every. single. time.

The past month and a half was a blur of three things: drama, work, and ever increasing amounts of caffeine. But I walked out of it with the one thing I have been working towards for the past three years: an internship. In the fall, I will have my very own gaggle of fifth graders in my very own classroom at Wasatch Elementary.

We interviewed Wednesday morning and were told to wait by our phones from 3-5 that afternoon for the call that would tell us who, if anyone, offered us a position. Those few hours in between were some of the most stretched out minutes of my life. Concentrating on a 1980's Disney thriller is not easy when all you can think of is how your phone might be ringing, glowing silently in your purse in the storage room while you are stuck trying to figure out whether the villain is an alien or a demon. Miss. HM, a fellow student teacher and intern hopeful, was called out during the movie and came back glowing about her new position as a first or second grade teacher. My call came when I was hugging all my students goodbye (I let it go to voice-mail. Priorities).

When I called Neff back and she told me my placement, I cried in relief. I spent the next two days being more relieved than excited, which then turned to nerves, and finally settled into bubbly excitement.