Meet Your Teacher

As part of the celebration of the end of the school year, the students are given time to go to their new classroom, see their new classmates, and meet their new teacher. The veteran teachers assured me that it was something that wasn't given much thought to, but my inner greenie-teacher was nervous. What if they hate me? What if they're crazy? What if they throw desks at me, rip up all the papers, and escape out the back door???

Thankfully, they filed in quietly and took their seats at the very back of the classroom, filtering their way forward as the seats were filled. A third of my students were missing (with peer-offered excuses ranging from "absent" to "he cut his leg real bad and it was bleeding and he had to go home" to "he disappeared a few months ago... but we think he'll be back next year!"). We talked for a bit about the things they'll be learning next year and their suggested summer studying. Most of them seemed excited about math and science so I'll have to spend the summer looking up experiments for them. One little boy, who immediately earned the mental nickname Pop Quiz, was very disappointed that I wouldn't engage in an immediate lecture on "the little exclamation point that goes by numbers" and later showed concern that we wouldn't be studying factorials.


I then opened it up to them to tell me a little about themselves and what they thought would make their fifth grade year perfect. My favorite responses:

The boy who put "micro-engineering" as his favorite subject and wants to "blow stuff up in chemistry". He also wrote some of his answers backwards and the other side of the paper said "Why Santa is Dead. Ho Ho KaBOOM. Bye Bye Santa."

Another boy also wants to "destroy stuff" but he's willing to fix it too.

Two girls wrote that they were interesting because they were "flexible". Surprisingly, not the same girls that want to hold singing and dancing contests in class.

The overwhelming majority of them just want to "be involved in class". Can do!

I GET BY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS

Found this at my door this morning:

Fifth Grade Library

I've been trolling D.I., Savers, and garage sales lately for books I can use to stock my fifth grade classroom library. I've collected quite a few that fall under the category of "oldie-but-goodies" (or more likely: "things-Jayme-vaguely-remembers-reading-and-they-only-cost-a-dollar"). Unsurprisingly, the more recent books that are popular with kids haven't been designated to many thrift stores. Likewise, finding firsts in a series can be pretty difficult unless you go online (which I have, much to my wallet's chagrin). I've been soliciting donations/bargains on craigslist, freecycle, and facebook, but I wanted to keep track of the books I want most. Crossed out numbers are books I've managed to find.

Wish-List:

Wayside School Series 1 2 3 4 5
Peter and the Starcatchers Series 1 2 3 4
Percy Jackson Series 1 2 3 4 5
City of Ember Series 1 2 3 4
Animorphs Series 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Winding Circle by Tamora Pierce 1 2 3 4
Ella Enchanted
Among the Hidden
Rules by Cynthia Lord
Holes by Louis Sachar
Frindle by Andrew Clements
Series of Unfortunate Events 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13
The Mysterious Benedict Society 1 2 3
Pendragon series 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Fablehaven series 1 2 3 4 5
Artemis Fowl 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Anything by Roald Dahl
Harry Potter Series 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Number the Stars
Dear America Series
The Giver
Sammy Keyes 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
Goosebumps
Anything by Louis Sachar
Chronicles of Narnia 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Student Requested:
The Ranger's Apprentice series
The Mysterious Adventure of Edward Tulane
Miss Fortune
The Boy Next Door
Dragon Rider
The Dear Dumb Diary Series
Bad Kitty Series
Diary of a Wimpy Kid

What Teachers Make

Out of respect for the school and people involved, I've been keeping blog-fully silent about the events that unfolded in the past month during my practicum. However, I don't feel that I am crossing any lines when I say that I adored all of my 6th graders and I really enjoyed the opportunity I had to work with them. We had a terrific time together, exploring microscopes and fungi and finding creative uses for my empty food boxes. I'm sorry you got your hopes up about the pop tarts every. single. time.

The past month and a half was a blur of three things: drama, work, and ever increasing amounts of caffeine. But I walked out of it with the one thing I have been working towards for the past three years: an internship. In the fall, I will have my very own gaggle of fifth graders in my very own classroom at Wasatch Elementary.

We interviewed Wednesday morning and were told to wait by our phones from 3-5 that afternoon for the call that would tell us who, if anyone, offered us a position. Those few hours in between were some of the most stretched out minutes of my life. Concentrating on a 1980's Disney thriller is not easy when all you can think of is how your phone might be ringing, glowing silently in your purse in the storage room while you are stuck trying to figure out whether the villain is an alien or a demon. Miss. HM, a fellow student teacher and intern hopeful, was called out during the movie and came back glowing about her new position as a first or second grade teacher. My call came when I was hugging all my students goodbye (I let it go to voice-mail. Priorities).

When I called Neff back and she told me my placement, I cried in relief. I spent the next two days being more relieved than excited, which then turned to nerves, and finally settled into bubbly excitement.

Teaching Inspiration

Tales from the Teacher's Desk

Dear Sixth Grade Girls,

No, I don't want to marry all of your older brothers, especially not "right now". You sounded a little rabid and I'm not sure your brothers would appreciate being auctioned into a he-harem.

In the meantime, feel free to keep comparing me to Scarlett Johansson in Iron Man 2. I don't actually look anything like her but for some reason it makes you respect me more.

For one thing, I doubt that outfit would be allowed. Not even on Casual Fridays.

Looking forward to a fabulous month with you,
Miss Not-Your-Brother's-Last-Name

Letters I Never Sent: The Replacement Edition

Dear New Student Teacher,

Thanks for letting me stop by the classroom today. I was at the elementary school for an unrelated lecture and couldn't resist looking in on my old class. I know it was a little chaotic when all the kids were storming over and creating the friendliest mob I've ever had the opportunity to be hug-tackled by. But I appreciated it more than you can know (yet).

I want you to know that you have an amazing group of kids in there. They are sweet, brilliant little people and I am so proud of everything they are accomplishing. I know they might seem challenging at first. You've got a lot of behavior management and language issues to work with and the temper tantrums can seem pretty intimidating. That's okay. There are ways to work through everything and I'm sure you'll figure them out. Don't let them see you frustrated, don't worry if you have to through your plans out the window, don't let the exhaustion they'll drive you to stop you from giving them everything you have.

And please, please don't ever underestimate them. The unresponsive kid in the corner is actually a genius; engage him. The kid that refuses to do his work is a budding artist; use that. The little girl who will drive you nuts with her Hermione-ish attitude is going through some things at home; let her tell you about them. The girl that has every answer wrong on the math tests doesn't understand place values; ignore the mandated lectures and let her work with manipulatives. The quiet boy who seems sad just needs to feel important-- dinosaurs help!

The day I left the school, I barely managed to shut my car door before I started crying. That's how much you'll miss them. They'll work their way into your thoughts and you'll wish you could go back and see how they are coming along. I was fortunate enough to get to. But you only really have a few months with them.

Do it right.

They deserve it.

Love,
The Old You

I know you know that I'm not telling the truth

BYU won the Psych College Campus wars!

You know you're an elementary education major when:

1. You sincerely miss tests but can write a 10-page paper in under an hour.

2. You walk into a religion classroom and aren't sure whether you're feeling the spirit or if your under-stimulated hormones are just screaming "ohmygosh, TESTOSTERONE!"

3. Early morning, 10-class semesters are standard...yet you still can't fit in the guitar class you want to take.

4. Your professors are totally huggable...even when they are laughing in your face about how stressed out/poor/neurotic you are going to be for the rest of your life next few months.

5. You've been offered a free python by Miss. Frizzle.

6. On the first day, you already know the names of all the people in your class, as well as their complete dating history, family, hobbies, and what they wanted to be growing up.

7. Dot dot step slide reverse pedal pedal dot.

8. You have walked out of an institute class on account of poor teaching.

9. Your professors spend half the class period giving detailed explanations about how they taught the other half of the class period.

10. You still get excited about Book Orders.

*I am now required by law professors to write in my blog three to four times a week. Inanity is guaranteed.