Teaching Inspiration

The Not-Navajo-Tacos Event

Spoiler Alert! Everyone pees blue at the end.

For the past year, I have been drifting blissfully in the limbo known as "suspended calling". Previously, I had been asked to reach out to members of our ward by organizing massive dinners based around their cultures. Nat-chan inspired make-your-own sushi night and the Hindu Festival of Colors was followed by a (very colorful) curry feast. But when summer hit, we had so few members of the ward that we decided to conserve out budget. Then the bishop was released, a new one was called, and my calling was forgotten in the transition.

Elly and I still stalk visit our second counselor-turned-stake clerk quite a bit, usually when we should be in Relief Society, and have gotten to know our stake president in the process. And he got to know, through Brother W's praise of me, about my old calling. He grabbed the bishop, the bishop reinstated me, and my first opportunity to pull at the ward's purse strings was this Sunday.

Having heard wonderful things about Dana's frybread, I decided to commandeer Break the Fast and hold a Navajo Taco feast. She was kind enough to not hate me for asking her less than a week before the event and agreed. Having been to a few BtFs where under 20 people showed up, I planned to make enough for a generous guess of 40 people. A nice, easy first meal where people could come and get a taste of how awesome our dinners will be.

Yeah.

No.

The actual BtF committee scheduled the meal, for very good reasons that I fully support, for a few hours earlier than I expected. A quick check with Dana before Relief Society revealed that she had planned for later too, so the dough wasn't made. She left early to throw a batch together while I went in search of a cooler. Naturally, it was missing (it showed up later with the activities committe as a drink cooler). I emptied our Christmas decorations box, lined it with tin foil, and called it good.

The next hour involved massive amounts of Crisco, two women 'flipping' and 'flapping' at mad speed, and a repeated cycle of the guys worrying about how long we were taking and us shooing them off via text, phone calls, and in person. We were almost done with our 40ish frybreads when we get the message that more people showed up than we expected.

More, in this instance, meaning "most of our ward, some significant others, and even a few parents."

So we show up with half as much frybread as we need to clapping and an arm tunnel, panicking just a little bit inside at the huge line of people. That's when Dana tells us about Smoke Signals, a movie where the Indian mother is presented with exactly the same problem. The solution?

riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip

"And there shall be frybread for all!"

...and that is the story of how we fed almost a hundred hungry college kids (and company) with less than 50 pieces of frybread.

Seriously though, Undisclosed spiked the dessert. Enjoy your urine everyone! :)

Tales from the Teacher's Desk

Dear Sixth Grade Girls,

No, I don't want to marry all of your older brothers, especially not "right now". You sounded a little rabid and I'm not sure your brothers would appreciate being auctioned into a he-harem.

In the meantime, feel free to keep comparing me to Scarlett Johansson in Iron Man 2. I don't actually look anything like her but for some reason it makes you respect me more.

For one thing, I doubt that outfit would be allowed. Not even on Casual Fridays.

Looking forward to a fabulous month with you,
Miss Not-Your-Brother's-Last-Name

Fever Dreams: BiC

I've decided to start a Movement (capitalized because that totally makes it legitimate, amiright?). It's called the Bored in Class, or BiC, Movement because A) I'm not in advertising so my creativity levels are somewhere between the Star Wars remakes and Mean Girls 2 and B) ripping off pen company brand names is the new black, y'all.

Essentially, college kids who have to suffer through extremely boring classes for an unholy percentage of their non-senile years can sign up with their phone number and class times and they'll be assigned another user with a class at the same time. Numbers will be exchanged and BAM. Boredom alleviated! They can spend the class period texting each other. Depending on the creepiness factor of their partner, this could extend to hours of further giggles, including Stalker Watch, Fun with Restraining Orders, and Stockholm Marriages*!

*Handcuffs not included.

UPDATE: Do You Have Any Gum took notice and created a logo for BiC! Isn't it pretty? Here's a close-up of the emblem, complete with icanhazcheezeburgers cats.

Catching up on the Awesome

In order:

1. Last Thursday, my mother called to tell me she was in town for a nursing meeting. We went to Costco where she filled me up with actual groceries (to supplement my personal collection of Lean Pockets) and convinced me to my night class to go to Salt Lake with her. We grabbed my little sister, ate massive amounts of butter crab and clams at Joe's Crab Shack, and watched the inappropriately hilarious "Just Go With It".

2. Elly and Mexules taught me to play Call of Duty on Saturday. Afterwards, we went to what we thought would be a b-boy competition but was actually one white kid bouncing around in a dark room. We went to ghetto laser tag instead (I loved the two floor arena and half hour time limit). The next day, Mexules and I were both sick and Elly followed soon after. I now sound like a frog with a nictonine addiction, which has greatly improved my ability to sing my favorite rock songs with the right amount of "one bad decision away from dying" in my tone.

3. I took my mama to the BYU v Colorado State game yesterday.

She's not Racist.... Just Sleepy

Me: Hey, Elly!

Elly (asleep): Nnn...?

Me: Read this! (tosses her the book I'm using for an assignment)

Elly (squints at the cover): There once was a girl...she was black...and she liked it because she was diverse and got all the scholarships. Amen.

Experiences I never thought I'd have...

I turned my music way down on the way home because I was worried it would disturb the Madagascar hissing cockroaches in the seat next to me.