Bullets Dodged: 1

"IT is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single mormon woman in possession of a good features and a decent cookbook collection must be in want of a husband.

However little known the feelings or views of such a woman may be on her first entering a university, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding students, that she is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their brothers."

In other words: "You're single? Whyyyyyyy??"

I am stuck in the limbo that is age 22. In my view, the world is wide open and I have both the years and the passion to enjoy it. To a growing number of people, I am "alone, but you still have time! Have you tried internet dating/hanging out in the library/screaming to the world how desperate and lonely you inevitably are?" girl.

For some reason, it is incomprehensible to them that even without being on a guy's arm, I have enough friends, hobbies, and plans to feel completely satisfied. I don't feel the need to be swept off my feet so badly I'll knock my own legs from under me to get there.

Plus, I love adding new books to my dating fail library.

I went out with Dancer-Man last night. He started off doing all the right things; he called to ask for a date a few days in advance, picked me up on time, opened my doors, and took me to a decent restaurant. We quickly realized that we had little in common...at least, I realized. He wouldn't know, since he effectively muscled his way into conversational dominance.

Here's a brief excerpt of our night:

Him: (30 minute discourse on his childhood book favorites). So what books do you read?

Me: Well, I like...

Him: And don't say Twilight. Or Harry Potter. (5 minute explanation for why they are horrible).

Me: But I don't like Twilight.

Him: What? But all girls like Twilight! (Long explanation about how girls like the bad boy, blah blah blah, so I must like Twilight or I should turn in my license to wear a bra).

Me: (Eyes roll.)

Waitress: (Cracks up.)

Another little gem was when I told him my older sister looked nothing like me and he immediately (in a clearly not-joking tone) accused my mother of having multiple affairs and that's why my parents divorced.

Other fails: taking off your retainer at the table, assuming I'd enjoy splitting a drink and then whining about the flavor I chose after the waitress left, making a big deal about paying the bill, forgetting your card at the restaurant, trying to chat (and nudge) me up during the entire (dollar) movie, and whining about where we sat.

Forgive me for not being swept off my feet.

The best part actually came after the date, when he sent me a series of passive aggressive texts that simultaneously insulted me and asked when he'd see me again.

So thank you, Chatty Dancer. You really know how to make a girl (and her closest friends) laugh. ;)