Proxee in the News!

"Dating not your forte? Proxee wants to help.
by Brooke Ward

For some, a first date is synonymous with the words awkward and intimidating, but it doesn’t have to be, say two BYU students who recently started their own dating advice web site.

(D and J) turned a long-standing joke about starting a dating-help business into an entrepreneurial venture with the launch of Proxee Consulting on June 15.

“For the past year and a half we would go on dates and come home and be like, ‘well, that wasn’t what I expected,’ ” (J) said. “Or we would talk to our guy friends and hear some of the things that they were having problems with, often things that we thought were really common sense, like calling a couple of days in advance rather than texting the night of.”

After hearing similar complaints from other girlfriends, (D) and (J) decided to stop talking and joking about awkward dates and take action. They envisioned a blog that would be a positive place for people to engage in a conversation about dating, send in their own dating stories or get personal responses on more specific questions.

“It’s hard to find dating advice online or in books that don’t just have that ultimate goal in mind of hooking up or even marriage,” (J) said. “We’re all for marriage, but we’re really focused on getting from date one to date two and the beginning of a relationship.”

Anyone can go online and submit dating advice or stories, but other services provided by Proxee Consulting come with a fee. These services include proxy dates — where a man wanting feedback on his dating style goes on a “Hitch”-like date with (D) or (J) and is evaluated — and image consulting. There are also extra features for those who want more individualized help, (J) said.

“There’s nothing worse than going on a date and thinking it went well only to have the girl refuse a second date or just ignore you,” she said, noting that half the battle of helping a man to correct his off-putting habits is to make him aware of them. “There are a lot of little things that guys often just don’t think about that make a big difference.”

According to (D and J), some of the biggest dating gaffes include dressing too casually, not planning ahead and talking too much about themselves, usually out of nervousness.

“A lot of guys don’t even think about the fact that girls generally put a ton of time into planning and preparing for a date, so when they open a door and their date is in sweatpants and flip flops it just kind of loses that magic instantly,” (D) said. “When the guy takes the initiative to plan a date it shows first of all that he’s interested and takes it from the hangout mentality to an actual date.”

Before launching Proxee Consulting, (D and J) approached their bishop and members of their stake presidency. With an enthusiastic response from their ecclesiastical leaders, they forged ahead with the blog and, immediately after launching, were flooded with responses.

“Within the first couple hours we had over 700 hits,” (J) said.

Since then (D and J) have marveled as their following has grown with largely positive feedback.

“Its become bigger than we thought it would be,” (D) said. “I can’t believe the people coming out of the woodwork and how responsive they have been.”

However, there has also been some criticism.

“We have gotten some serious hate mail from a few guys,” (D) said. “They call me names and say I’m bitter, but it doesn’t really bug me because most people realize that our intent is not to belittle men.”

The main purpose of Proxee Consulting is to help guys fine-tune their dating skills, (J) said. However, men have also contributed advice for women and Proxee Consulting now has a male guest blogger writing a feature called “Man to Man.”

“We want guys to feel like they’re being heard as well and not feeling like we’re just ranting about men,” (D) explained.

Another concern for some respondents is that the women, both 23, are single.

“I think that makes us even better authorities because we’re still in the dating scene,” (D) said, while (J) noted that both women have been in relationships in the past and have seen the good, the bad and the ugly in relationships and dating.

“We’re not out there saying that there is only one way to do things or giving our personal preferences,” (D) said. “We’re just trying to lay down some really basic dating strategies that apply to the biggest number of girls … pretty generic things that will lead a first date into a second.”

It seems college students are busy these days and don’t have a lot of time to waste, which is why (D) feels Proee Consulting is important.

“Our goal is to help people make the most out of the dates that they do go on,” (D) said.

Those interested in joining the dating conversation, being a guest blogger or sharing dating stories can do so at proxeeconsulting.com."

Accompanying Photo of Me and a Friend

Pic Spam!

Not sure I agree with the end, but I love the rest. :)

Proxee Consultancy

Anyone who's ever been part of the dating world knows that the "first" of "first date" is almost always synonymous with "only". From the moment you realize he has no intention of opening that door for you, to the awkward moment when you realize your dress and heels are completely inappropriate for a surprise date hike, to the pause by the doorstop when you reluctantly admit that you "would rather stab yourself in the eye with kabob sticks than let his lips go anywhere near you" (paraphrased)... things can go fantastically, horribly wrong.

These aren't the dates we're worried about. Having a Date-From-Hell story is practically a rite of passage for women, something we can bond and giggle over while we distract ourselves with frozen yogurt on a completely date-less Friday night. Nothing says sisterhood like sharing the time your date called your mom a whore (I wish I was kidding).

No, we're more worried about the other dates. The non-spectacular failures when your roommates demand a play-by-play and all you can say is "eh". Or worse, the non-dates where you are stuck in hanging-out limbo but the guy still has the expectation of making out with you.

Dear Romeos: we know we can seem hard to get sometimes. Ever considered using different bait?

Proxee Consulting is officially open for business.

"Proxee is not like other dating services. We don’t match up, hunt singles, or play cupid. We stand in proxy for the person of your dreams, giving you practice, tips, and advice to help you be a winner on that first date. Consider us a dress rehearsal, your coach in the corner, the final run through before the actual date. There are several basic tricks when it comes to dating, and we’ll clue you in on them." (see our website for more information)

For the Guys:
The Date and Review: You take one of our Proxies out and we'll give you a comprehensive review afterward with individualized feedback about your performance.
Ask the Proxies Personal Email Session: If you just have a quick question about women, dating, or anything else you think we might be able to help with, shoot us an email.
Image Consultancy: Customized tips about personal image and wardrobe.

Our blog will be updated a few times a week with general advice, dating fail stories, and dating success stories. If you have a story to share or you want to be a guest blogger, let us know! We'd love to hear from you.

Love,
Your new Proxee

P.S.: Check out Danielle's post too!

I get by with a little help from my friends: Nat-chan

Nat-chan sent me an adorably wrapped birthday present from Japan. Isn't she the sweetest?



All the boxes of sweets were opened and emptied within a day. Foreign chocolate, guys. I have no regrets.

Public Service Announcement

If anyone would like to propose, I am accepting applications on the condition that they are mailed attached to this ring:

Available here for approximately half of my next year's salary.

Meet Your Teacher

As part of the celebration of the end of the school year, the students are given time to go to their new classroom, see their new classmates, and meet their new teacher. The veteran teachers assured me that it was something that wasn't given much thought to, but my inner greenie-teacher was nervous. What if they hate me? What if they're crazy? What if they throw desks at me, rip up all the papers, and escape out the back door???

Thankfully, they filed in quietly and took their seats at the very back of the classroom, filtering their way forward as the seats were filled. A third of my students were missing (with peer-offered excuses ranging from "absent" to "he cut his leg real bad and it was bleeding and he had to go home" to "he disappeared a few months ago... but we think he'll be back next year!"). We talked for a bit about the things they'll be learning next year and their suggested summer studying. Most of them seemed excited about math and science so I'll have to spend the summer looking up experiments for them. One little boy, who immediately earned the mental nickname Pop Quiz, was very disappointed that I wouldn't engage in an immediate lecture on "the little exclamation point that goes by numbers" and later showed concern that we wouldn't be studying factorials.


I then opened it up to them to tell me a little about themselves and what they thought would make their fifth grade year perfect. My favorite responses:

The boy who put "micro-engineering" as his favorite subject and wants to "blow stuff up in chemistry". He also wrote some of his answers backwards and the other side of the paper said "Why Santa is Dead. Ho Ho KaBOOM. Bye Bye Santa."

Another boy also wants to "destroy stuff" but he's willing to fix it too.

Two girls wrote that they were interesting because they were "flexible". Surprisingly, not the same girls that want to hold singing and dancing contests in class.

The overwhelming majority of them just want to "be involved in class". Can do!

The Lanyard- Billy Collins

This has been playing on repeat in my iTunes. It's worth a listen if you can-- his tone tends to add more humor to his poems than you might pick find in the text alone-- but the full poem is below. Happy Almost Mother's Day!

The Lanyard - Billy Collins

The other day I was ricocheting slowly
off the blue walls of this room,
moving as if underwater from typewriter to piano,
from bookshelf to an envelope lying on the floor,
when I found myself in the L section of the dictionary
where my eyes fell upon the word lanyard.

No cookie nibbled by a French novelist
could send one into the past more suddenly—
a past where I sat at a workbench at a camp
by a deep Adirondack lake
learning how to braid long thin plastic strips
into a lanyard, a gift for my mother.

I had never seen anyone use a lanyard
or wear one, if that’s what you did with them,
but that did not keep me from crossing
strand over strand again and again
until I had made a boxy
red and white lanyard for my mother.

She gave me life and milk from her breasts,
and I gave her a lanyard.
She nursed me in many a sick room,
lifted spoons of medicine to my lips,
laid cold face-cloths on my forehead,
and then led me out into the airy light

and taught me to walk and swim,
and I, in turn, presented her with a lanyard.
Here are thousands of meals, she said,
and here is clothing and a good education.
And here is your lanyard, I replied,
which I made with a little help from a counselor.

Here is a breathing body and a beating heart,
strong legs, bones and teeth,
and two clear eyes to read the world, she whispered,
and here, I said, is the lanyard I made at camp.
And here, I wish to say to her now,
is a smaller gift—not the worn truth

that you can never repay your mother,
but the rueful admission that when she took
the two-tone lanyard from my hand,
I was as sure as a boy could be
that this useless, worthless thing I wove
out of boredom would be enough to make us even.